I Love You In DisguiseJeremy Crenshaw was sitting in the same place he sat every day in fourth period English; far away enough not to be noticed, and close enough to admire from afar. For the last three years their schedules had been almost identical; but somehow English was the only class he had with him their junior year.
t-this is your first boyxboy story eveeeer? you are a fantastic and amazing writer! now i have found yet another (you're the third, maybe) writer on the internet who has such skill and perfection in English writing! 8D
i thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. i'm very glad i managed to convince you to enter also! sometimes the repetitive actions and words of "smile" (and its various forms, like 'smiling') were overly used, but it didn't bother me particularly.
your 'vision', the way you described the scenes and story, were very amazingly written and shows us readers the actual showing instead of just telling, as some authors prefer. for me i'm perfectly fine with whatever, but i loved your showing in this case. the originality was pretty interesting with the "scariest Halloween ever" idea, but Braden and Jeremy being old friends who love each other is something that's usually seen a lot.
i hope you continue to share dA a lot more of your writing, and i'll look forward to reading more from you. i sure hope you've published books already??
Thank you so much, sweetheart! This was a lovely critique to come home to.
I'm so glad you found the story so enjoyable... I wrote it in an hour so I was very skeptical. The visuals were certainly my main focus - imagining them in their skeleton costumes and that hard kiss in the high school hallway...
--- as for their relationship, I agree that old friends is an overdone romance. Sadly enough, it was difficult to come up with something so in depth in such a short time. Perhaps later, when I return to these characters - I can make their relationship a bit more complicated.
... and... published, you say? The only thing I've published was when I was in high school. I published a poem called, "Dreaming Ends". My senior year of high school I became a columnist for my city's newspaper. Had a new column every week and earned a scholarship at the end of the year. Sadly, however; I have never published a novel - which is what I truly want to do.
It is very flattering for you to suggest it, and I truly appreciate your critique, sweetheart!
lol yep. time limits are decidedly..hateful. waaat please show me that poem! D: /wants to read it, and obviously your books in the future. we'll see about that later. i've wanted to publish a novel/books since like the 5th grade or something.
5th grade sounds about right for me too. Perhaps you'd like to work together to get published! Maybe we could edit each other's work, give eachother tips, ect.
we should unite as writers to publish some works!! i know i definitely need the help...but it's actually best you don't work with me though.. /procrastinates like she has all the time in the damn world sighhh
I understand - but what would the world be without it's procrastinators?
loool yeah! i'll check out some of your other works and stuff soon or later.
also, you should have said 'its', not "it's". not sure if that was a typo or not, but i'll explain that "it's" is the contraction for the words 'it is', while "its" refers to possession.